Is Divorce the end? I’m a Divorcee and I say No

Team Udayavani, Apr 14, 2022, 11:36 AM IST

Like any other teenage girl, I always dreamt of a loving and happy family, but destiny had carved a different path for me. My life changed when my marriage of 13 years started falling apart due to infidelity and violence. Consequently, I was left with no other option but to start afresh in a completely new city with my 11-year-old son.

I had anticipated living alone and being a single parent to be full of struggles and judgement. The initial few years of managing work, my son and household responsibilities alone made me lose patience and self-confidence at times. I had to often push my limits to ensure my child was fed well and received the best education possible.

The only thing that kept me strong and going was my work. I worked hard and progressed in my job as a School Principal. Being in close proximity to numerous children and understanding their upbringing made me a strong advocate of the belief that it takes something extraordinary to raise children right and give them a life full of peace and self-respect.

Being in an abusive relationship for years, I always feared judgment and could not express myself freely. Going through this transition in life, I realized the importance of open communication in relationships, and hence, encouraged my son to always speak his heart out to me. My parents and brother stood by me like a rock that restored my faith in family and love. It took time, but I made peace with my past, and at the same time, ensured that the future was different.

A decade later, all the hard work and perseverance have paid off. Today, I am a successful educator and have grown tremendously in terms of understanding life and its complexities. I recently attended my son’s graduation ceremony, and I could not contain my happiness looking at him in a robe with his first-class management degree from one of the best B-schools in India. Besides, he is now pursuing his passion for photography and filmmaking.

We have also added more love to our family by adopting our little Angel, a delightful black pug. She has been a loving sister to my son and my little baby for the past 8 years now. She has made us understand the value of true love and companionship.

As I look back at my journey, I acknowledge the significance of women having faith in their choices, being financially independent, brave and decisive. Judgements will be passed, eyes will be rolled. And you will get past all of it!

I strongly believe in giving children the right resources, exposure and freedom to carve their own path, while standing by them without necessarily walking them through it. All they need is to be heard, trusted and accepted the way they are. Remember that being a parent, whether single or not, is learning about the magic you didn’t know you could create, and the courage you never seemed to have!

Happy Parenting!

Garima Sawlani

Educator. Mother. Animal Lover.